The Cottage

A Silly Straight-To-DVD Endeavor: A Potentially Interesting Story With Sloppy Execution
I like David Arquette and he is certainly the best thing about "The Cottage," but that's about the only endorsement that I can give this low-budget chiller. The story at the heart of this film might have been creepy and provocative had it been explored with any sort of depth, but the end result is more cheesy and comical than scary or disturbing. I love that the DVD cover proudly proclaims that "The Cottage" is "based on a harrowing true story" because the screenplay is about as far from plausible as you can imagine. That still might have been OK if the sordid tale had not taken itself so seriously. With a bit more humor, this might have been redeemed as campy fun. But as is, it's just another "thriller" that is completely dependent on every character making the dumbest choices possible at every moment. And with so little thought to writing identifiable protagonists, I didn't much care what evil fate befell this rather lifeless brood.

"The Cottage" starts with a surreal...

Has the feel of "Hand That Rocks The Cradle". Movie is OK, but worth watching for Arquette, very creepy in this. I say B+.
"You left the door unlocked you obviously wanted me to come back in." After the tenant that Chloe (Dalton) and Michael have set for their cottage falls through romance novelist Robert (Arquette) answers the ad. After meeting him the family thinks they have the perfect person to move in and are excited. But like most things in life some things are too good to be true. This is true in all genres but I think that casting in horror movies has a lot to do with how creeped out you get watching. I have always wanted to write a "Silence Of The Lambs" type movie starring Roma Downey (from Touched By An Angel), to me that would be creepy just because of who she is. Most people know David Arquette has a comedic actor in movie like "Eight Legged Freaks" and "See Spot Run" which is why he comes off so creepy in this. He gives a very laid back performance and the movie has the same vibe as "Hand That Rocks The Cradle" or "Fear". The movie itself isn't that original and if it weren't for Arquette it...

Not good at all...
--- SPOILERS ---

The amount of times people were captured without a weapon or real threat was unbelievable, if you tried to kidnap me that way you would be dead. Then the husband and daughter go missing, meanwhile the mother keeps calling the cell phones casually asking where they are, she then thinks someone is in the house so decides to walk the house IN THE DARK.. Hmm, two members of my family have gone missing, and I have a crazy tenant, let me turn all the lights off, leave my baby and walk around the house with no weapon. SO UNREALISTIC.

Also you wouldn't leave your baby for a second if you felt under threat, yet the baby was constantly left alone to get kidnapped 3 times, you didn't learn the first time around? Then the car the baby is in which is driven by a teenager with no weapon at 5 miles an hour drives by you, and instead of chasing the car you scream and cry as if it's hopeless, really??

I want my $3.99 back, I want the 2 hours of my life...

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